Are There Blog Posts Up in Heaven?

Tonight marks the 9th Yartzeit (anniversary of passing) of my dear father Shmuel Tzvi ben Yosef a”h. This blog was lovingly created in his memory. May all the creativity in these pages bring him much nachas, as shluchim around the world, bring their communities close to yiddishkeit (Judaism) through meaningful, creative experiences full of laughter, love and chayus. IN LOVING MEMORY – a tribute to the father I love with all my heart and soul. (This photo was taken about 14 years ago, holding my daughter Chaya, age 2)

There is so much more I want to share with you, as every day turns to night…

and every night turns to dawn.

The ache in my heart has only become more painful and I am now certain that ‘time’ does not heal.

I want to talk to you. I want to laugh with you.

And mostly I want to live life with you.

The memories mix into my day…ingredients that I cannot live without.

I can pour milk into a bowl of cereal and the tears well up in my eyes.

Just like that. Soggy cheerios and salty tears. All at once.

I know you would love to see my kids now…you would so much enjoy their smiles, laughs and their budding personalities…

And it stings…

so badly.

I talk to you all day…but it’s lonely with your silent reply.

I day dream of sunny days in my yard with you sipping a cup of black tea…

just watching the kids play.

I think of how much you would enjoy chatting with all of us and I imagine what it would be like if you wouldn’t have died.

I wonder.

And I remember.

I flip through pages and pages of what we call ‘time’ in the album of life.

The moments and memories become a collage, and that becomes my day.

Photos of nostalgia plaster my page all while living in the moment.

Embellished with sounds, scents, laughter and living.

Recognizing the emptiness and filling it with as much comfort as I can gather, and with as much strength as I can muster.

Loving more, living more, being grateful for.

A testimony to how you raised me with that sparkle in your eye.

And on this day I have not buried you.

I never did. And never will.

Alive in every part of my life.

Soggy cheerios and salty tears.

And all.

3 thoughts on “Are There Blog Posts Up in Heaven?

  1. salty chamomile tea…

    On Fri, Nov 16, 2018 at 10:32 PM CHANA’S ART ROOM wrote:

    > chanascop posted: ” There is so much more I want to share with you, as > every day turns to night… and every night turns to dawn. The ache in my > heart has only become more painful and I am now certain that ‘time’ does > not heal. I want to talk to you. I want to l” >

  2. May Hashem send Moshiach now so that you will be reunited here with your dear father immediately. He is surely having nachas from you and your beautiful family ka’h.

    On Fri, Nov 16, 2018 at 3:32 PM CHANA’S ART ROOM wrote:

    > chanascop posted: ” There is so much more I want to share with you, as > every day turns to night… and every night turns to dawn. The ache in my > heart has only become more painful and I am now certain that ‘time’ does > not heal. I want to talk to you. I want to l” >

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