Dear friends, fellow shluchos and blog readers,
On Shemini Atzeres, Oct 5th, I tripped and fell and broke my ankle in 3 places. As I write these seemingly simple plain words, I assure you that with each letter I type, I reminisce deep feelings of pain both physically and emotionally of which I am still experiencing.
I think about the theme of my blog that brings me great comfort and closeness to my dear father a”h, and I ponder the deeper meaning of “Where the Colors of My Soul Come to Life”.
You see, in this one experience, I have had the opportunity to face some very deep fears of mine. A few, but not limited to: the fear of surgery, the fear of pain management, of fear management, physical therapy and ultimately my personal challenge of surrendering and letting go….probably my biggest challenge of all.
I find myself grasping at the reality of my situation. Yet as each day arrives, I see the sun shine more and more, and the opportunity to understand the deeper side of creativity. Creativity, not just in how to be there for my children while being immobile for 8 weeks, or even how to brush my teeth while using crutches. But rather, creativity, in finding the colors of this journey of healing, while letting things just be.
I am no where near “hindsight is 20/20” and as each day brings me to overwhelming moments of varying emotions including despair and frustration to gratitude and appreciation, I share with you a deeper thought about creativity.
Creativity is not merely the perfectly glazed cupcakes or the sequined velvet ribbon. It’s not the multi colored paper straws or the magnificent pink floral truffle boxes. But rather the colors of one’s soul which stem from those days of vibrant hues and days of dull monotone colors. A palette of both the ups and downs of life, while finding meaning within.
So, while I would prefer to share with you pretty pistachio topped meringues and glittery gold embellishments, I welcome you to be part of my journey of a deeper kind of creativity.
One that resides within your own heart, and mine.
One that does not need talent or experience but rather a heart and a mind.
One that allows an inner connection to how things are, as they are, while finding the beauty and blessing within.
So, the next few weeks I hope to share “Blessings of a Broken Ankle”, musings and thoughts to spark a rather different kind of creativity….
And then maybe I truly will be in sync with the dream of my blog…Where the Colors of My Soul, Come to Life.
23 Responses
רפו××” שלימה קרובה!
in 2009 I too broke my ankle is many places (I Believe all of the bones were broken. I had surgery and a long recovery, spending months in a wheelchair. But, yes I am blessed. I do not need a wheelchair permanently, like some do. I can walk again and am healed. This break came after a craniotomy a few months previous. The craniotomy was a piece o cake compared to the broken ankle. May you heal completely and rapidly. It is not fun; but now you will hve an excue to beep when you go through airport security!
Wow! Thanks for sharing your experience! It’s true how these situations give us new strength!
Refuah shlayma! You write beautifully as you create. I too broke my foot many years ago, 3rd trimester, was teaching and had 5 little kids. B”H I got through it and bez”h you will too. Yes, it’s true, letting go is so difficult, but so necessary at times.
Thank you for sharing! Yes, BH I am expecting too, 5th month BH and grateful all ok. Iyh this too shall pass!
Wishing you a Refu’a Shlaima, and may Hashem Bentch you in so many ways beyond your imagination!!!
thank you! Amen!
Wow chana you write so beautifully Hope you have a complete and speedy healing
thank you!
Keep up the good spirit
thanks my dear friend:)…the good spirit comes from you! xo
Chana, your an inspiration. Thanks for sharing. A refuah shelaima!!!
thank you!
Refua Shleima!!!!! 🙁 So sorry! May you have a complete and speedy recovery. Chana Susskind Shlucha – Asheville, NC
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thank you!
Dear Chana,
You write so beautifully as you describe your journey of pain and dealing with the darker hues of life. I have had a similar experience recently and am learning how Hashem sends us exactly what we need so that we can grow from the situation and learn to do things differently.
Having to slow down and sit for longer in one place, meant worrying less about the stuff that needed to be done and connecting more deeply to the people, having more meaningful conversations and making it a greater priority.
Wishing you a Refua Shelaima,
Penina
thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and for your good wishes, I agree….much to learn and soak up….:)
Chana, it is almost 6 weeks after, hopefully your bones are healing up. Take care and please find a good physical therapy. And good shoes.
Refua sheleima.
thanks!…im up to 4 weeks post fall….now on to PT for next 6 weeks of no walking…
all the best!
Chana, I hope you’re recovering well. Thank you for the beautiful words. Refuah Shelema! Yael
thank you!
BH
Refuah sheleima
Great points, especially for the rosh chodesh society series about to begin…
I hope you don’t mind me sharing.
All the best
Thank you:) of course, everything on my blog is for you to share, iy”h I shall be teaching RCS too….with a whole new feel:)
hatzlocha!